Can, and should, we leave the personal out of work?
Shifting Perspectives
When I started my first “real job”, I wanted to appear professional. Somehow this meant not intermingling my personal life with work. This didn’t last very long. And every time I started at another company, I would renew my pledge to keep to only work topics at work. And every time, I broke that pledge within months.
Now, after five years in leadership, my view on this has completely changed.
This started with me being purposeful about sharing more about myself to humanize myself to my team. I did this to create an environment where they felt safe to be open about what was happening with them. I had also worked alongside many of them when I was a business analyst. As a result, I still care about them as individuals and want to celebrate their milestones in life.
What I never expected is that knowing more about my team members helps me be a better leader for them.
The Benefits of Supporting the Whole Person
In the simplest, tactical ways, I can plan ahead keeping in mind my team’s availability. I know who is moving and when, I know who has family commitments and how to accommodate them, and I know my team’s dietary restrictions and preferences for events.
Carina Parisella hypothesizes that receiving complements and recognition breeds productivity in teams, and Kinsentric’s culture and engagement model includes measures on recognition. One of the topics that always comes up in our annual leadership discussions about recognition is how personal it is to everyone. By knowing and supporting the whole person, I can recognize people in ways that actually matter to them, meeting them where they truly feel acknowledged, rather than an empty, generic thank-you.
But beyond all of that, knowing the people on my team allows me to better foster a culture of inclusion and psychological safety. I can adapt my approach and better navigate within policies that are “at manager’s discretion”. This is because I have a full view of what’s happening with each individual and what they need at the time. I can truly lead my team, rather than simply assigning work and enforcing deadlines.
Beyond Work at Work
Although we are all paid to do a job, there is something powerful in the bonds of trust and support that can’t be replaced with any amount of financial compensation, flexible work policies or even the type of work you do. We see this constantly with people who leave well-paying, prestigious jobs to do things like open a flower shop.
There is a lot to be said in knowing that your “boss” actually cares about you. If you can’t be your whole self at work, it will always feel like something is missing. Because it is.
