Introduction
I recently had a conversation with someone who has been considering moving into leadership. This individual is highly regarded at our company, but unsure of whether they wanted to or could navigate office politics. It was less a question of ability and more of desire. This person is not only self-aware of their values, but also of the political situation they would be thrust into.
The question is one that many contentious leaders is faced with: can I be an effective leader without losing myself?
It’s possible, because like many others, I must find that balance on a regular basis. There are policies that sometimes fall short of supporting staff properly, colleagues with different views to work with, or simply new processes to be agreed upon.
Here are the three things I do to move forward without leaving myself behind.
Listen
Really, truly listen to the people whose opinion differ from mine. This is a crucial step but can be challenging for even the most open minded of us. This especially in a social environment that has shifted from having conversations to understand to having conversations to convince.
The key outcome I strive for here is to explore the context and rationale of the differing opinions. This is needed for the following steps, and sometimes can be powerful on its own. In some situations, the person I’m speaking with hasn’t explored their opinion or position very much. Embarking on the journey with them together not only uncovered more information but allowed us to develop our bonds of trust because I was giving them space to explore without judgement.
There are, too, times when diving deeper into the other person’s opinions helped me refine mine. While many confident leaders are secure in their positions, the most confident are willing to accept that they don’t know everything or have every perspective. After all, you can’t grow and mature as a leader if you’re not willing to admit you have room for growth.
Negotiate
Rather than trying to convince others of my opinion or accept an opinion that does not align with my values, my next step is to attempt to negotiate an alternative that is acceptable to all of us. This one is difficult because you need to:
- Be in tune with your values
- Know the most critical part of your desired outcome
- Understand the most critical parts of the other opinion(s)
- Be willing to explore the possibilities
The first two steps often require some inward reflection, and the intersection between your values and the heart of the outcome will require you to do the work for every situation. But as you practice the reflection, it will become less work and more reflex.
The last two steps are part of any negotiation. There are many resources on flexing those muscles, and you can get a free list of my favourite resources here.
Adjust your plan
I adjust course quite frequently if simple conversation or attempts at negotiation are unsuccessful. I recently discussed this tactic with another colleague whose team came up with an innovative change to how they work. They were unable to secure the buy-in they needed and implementing the change for only themselves would complicate their process rather than simplify it.
Having exhausted their usual options, the team was trying to come to terms with letting go of their idea. My colleague wanted to know how to help them through the emotional process.
What I asked my colleague was: rather than letting go, could they not adjust their plan instead? Their current situation was not supportive of the specific innovation–so where else could they look for improvements? The exploration was a welcome alternative to the win-or-lose mentality that team was initially bound to.
Conclusion
Navigating the politics of leadership doesn’t mean you need to abandon your values and negotiation isn’t a zero-sum game. You just need to get to the heart of your desired outcome and explore alternative paths to get there.
