Quiet and Strong with David Hall

Episode Transcript

Julianna:

Hello, and welcome to The Daring to Succeed podcast. I’m so excited to be joined today by David Hall, the creator of Quiet and strong.com. David is an author, blogger, podcaster, and speaker on a mission to help introverts discover their strengths and honor their needs. His book, minding Your Time, helps readers understand themselves and their introversion to be more successful in managing, managing their time and productivity. He is also the creator of the Quiet and Strong podcast and hosts thought leaders, creatives, and successful professionals that share how to leverage their strengths of introverts in the workplace. Welcome, David.

David:

Thanks, Julianna. It’s great to be on today.

Julianna:

Yeah. So nice to have you. You’ll have to entertain me for my first question, which I always ask my guests, which is, do you consider yourself more introverted, extroverted, or a bit of both?

David:

Okay. I’m definitely an introvert. And what I mean by that is I turn inward more often than not. So, and sometimes I hear people say that certain activities are extroverted and I don’t agree with that. I’m a podcaster, I’m an introvert while I’m doing my podcast. It just means I have to prepare differently. So, I’m an introvert. And just in that part of my work is helping people understand their introversion and so that they can get what they want outta life.

Julianna:

Which is amazing. I find with my conversations with other introverts and either even other extroverts some of those, I think misconceptions about introversion are quite fascinating, that people think that introverts can’t be podcasters or can’t be public speakers.

David:

Right. And I love it. It’s so fun. I’m having a great time talking with you now. You know, I do need to prepare for things, you know, and typically if I’m doing a podcast or for your podcast, you know, I gave myself about an hour before and an hour after, but I’m having a great time and, you know, I might need to recharge after, but we’ll see.

Julianna:

Yeah. Same for me. I love being a guest on other introverts podcasts because they’ll send me everything I need ahead of time to prepare.

David:

That’s right. That’s right. And it’s normal. It’s great.

Julianna:

It is. So, for our listeners who aren’t familiar with Quiet and Strong, can you tell us a bit about the project and why you started it?

David:

Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, there was a time when I was younger where I felt like something was wrong with me, and I’ve had a lot of guests and I’ve talked to a lot of people that felt that way. You know, not understanding their introversion and maybe wanting to be something different, you know, maybe wanting, you know, like thinking why am I not as comfortable in, in these settings as I see other people? That kind of thing. So it was a really long journey for me trying to figure out introversion. I got a degree in psychology and the journey was started, but it was long from over. I got a master’s in counseling, and again, I was figuring out a lot about myself and other people and that kind of thing. But I think it was really some professional development I had at work where I got certified in the Myers-Briggs, which is a lot about different facets of our personalities, but introversion extroversion is one of them, one of the main four.

David:

Right. And the facilitator said, introverts think and then speak extroverts speak in order to think. And I’m like, oh, wow. Yes. That’s what’s going on here. That was a big part of my misunderstanding. And I realized that was a good thing about me, that I was gonna have some great ideas, but my processing was gonna be different. But that was a good thing. And that was kind of like, that was one of my light bulb moments. About the same time my organization was giving everybody at the time, it was called Strengths Quest, it’s called Clifton Strengths now from the Gallup Organization. And what they do is they give you like your top five strengths. And this particular thing isn’t introversion extroversion, but it is about natural strengths. And, you know, you look at your top five and, and you know, so that you’re not as focused on your weaknesses.

David:

You’re really focused on, on what your strengths are. And a big piece of that was just realizing, oh, my gifts, you know, my analytical ability, that’s part of being an introvert is a good thing. And it comes very naturally to me. And, you know, I’ve helped facilitate conversation or workshops from my organization for about 500 people along these lines. And so I also got some advanced training and quiet and strong came from this. So I’m in a three day workshop, and, you know, I, I definitely was shy when I was younger, you know, before I understood my introversion but I overcame shyness by understanding my introversion. So I’m in this workshop, I think I’m talking plenty, right, but I’ve realized, you know, I’m never gonna talk as much as an introvert because I think first and then speak.

David:

And so I’m in this three day workshop. I think I’m participating lots and, you know, both in the large group table and the table conversations, that kind of thing. And at the end of the three days, the facilitator just kind of pulled me aside and she was giving me a compliment. She said, you’re quiet and strong, and when you talk, people listen. And that just really stuck with me, and I think that applies to a lot of introverts, is that we are thinking deeply. We have some great things to say, but if we don’t understand our gifts, a lot of times, you know, we don’t have the voice that we want to have. And so that’s where I started all of this. And, you know, about 10 years ago I started the blog and the website Quiet and Strong. And it was really about that we have great gifts, but we need to understand them, that they’re not gonna be the same. We don’t need the same things as our extroverted colleagues, but there are our gifts. And just learning to understand it can help you do whatever it is that you wanna do, whether it is be a podcaster or a public speaker. And personally, I’m a podcaster and a public speaker, and I don’t get nervous because I understand the preparation that I need to do. And then I also understand the way I need to manage my energy and things. So that’s where it all started.

Julianna:

Yeah, I love that. And I wanted to touch on two things that you talked about there. One was that the facilitator said that when you speak, people listen. And I think that is a very overlooked strength of introverts, especially like from my background in corporate. I find there are a lot of introverts when they come into their own power like yourself, when they understand their introversion, they’re more comfortable with standing back. And then when they do speak, everybody kind of shuts up and listens to them because they know they’re not going to say something unless it’s really important.

David:

Yeah. And that’s the thing. It’s like, that’s what I realized is that we’re not sharing everything naturally. We’re letting the ideas roll around in our heads, and we’re analyzing it and we are sharing what we think is most important. And I’m not ever knocking extroverts, it’s just a different way. Sure. But they’re sharing most everything, but we’re sharing what we think is most important. And that’s really, that’s really good to understand. So even though I’ve kind of tried to run away from the word quiet, I realize that for some people, I’m always gonna be perceived as quiet because I am thinking before I’m speaking, I am taking some time to think. And even though I’ve tried to run away from that word, it’s part of who I am.

Julianna:

Yes. And I think what you talked about with pre preparation for all of your public speaking engagements is a huge thing. Again, I, I think a lot of introverts think that they, they just kind of have to wing it when they’re doing a presentation or they have to make a speech. And you are shaking your head right now, and so am I, because that’s just not true. I remember doing so many presentations and people were like, oh, you did such a great job. I’m like, yeah, you don’t know the number of hours I spent going over and over and over and over my presentation so that it felt comfortable. And David, I’m sure, it’s the same for you.

David:

Yeah. And that was another big epiphany. We need to prepare, but because we prepare, we do a great job. And also, that’s another thing to remember is normally you’re speaking about things that you’re expert about. So, like I did prepare to come on and talk with you, but the things that we’re talking about, I could, I’m already prepared because I’ve been doing this work for a long time, but it is different. So like, I know extroverts that can totally get up wing a speech, everybody loves it. And I’ve just figured out I could be jealous, but instead, I could do what you’re saying and prepare, like I need to as an introvert, prepare, you know, give the speech ahead or give some thought ahead at a time. And that’s how I do my best. Like, I prepare it and then I still, you know, prepare it well ahead of time. And then I still let the ideas roll around in my head. You know, I capture those ideas since they kept, oh yeah, I need to talk. I would like to share this story or that thing. And there’s always gonna be things that you’re not fully prepared for, but you do your best, you know, and that kind of thing.

Julianna:

Absolutely. So, we’ll switch gears a little bit here. You’ve also written a book about time management, minding your time and also about productivity for introverts. How do you find time management is different for introverts and extroverts? Or what would you say are the key things that are things that introverts should keep in mind when they’re thinking about time management and productivity?

David:

Okay, so it’s during this same time period I was just talking about and figuring out, I’m an introvert. It’s a great thing. I have a full-time job. I run on the side of that, I run a business with my wife. We have three kids. And I’m just swamped trying to keep ahead of everything. I’m reading time management books.

David:

And I’m realizing, oh, I have different needs that aren’t exactly called out in these books. You know, like, and it’s what we’ve been talking about so far. I need to prepare for things and that needs to be part of my planning. I need to look at my week and see if I’m prepared for the week or what, where, if I need to plug in times.

Julianna:

Yeah.

David:

And there’s a lot of talk about how we need to recharge as introverts, and that’s absolutely true. There can be some things that drain us. I don’t like the simple definition that introverts get drained by people and recharge by being alone. That’s a little too simplistic for me. Yeah. I say I can get drained by certain people in certain situations, but also we need time for a lot of things. It’s not just that recharge time. We need time to think, we need time to plan, we need time to get some work done. And, you know, we do better with focus most of the time. And there’s a lot of reasons why. And we also need people that’s a big myth is that we don’t like people, you know, there has to be a balance there. And so, you know, in this book, you know, we talk about how you need to find that balance of, you know, to have your solitude, to have your alone time, you know, to prepare for either a meeting or even a conversation or a speech or presentation and that kind of thing.

David:

And that’s how it’s different. We need to think about, you know, are we ready for certain things? Do we need time to prepare? Do we need time to plug in for recharge? You know, like I might look at my week and say, you know what, that particular thing, even though I’m gonna enjoy it, I’m gonna need some time after. Can I put an hour on my calendar after that thing to, to take a break? You know? Yeah. I had. I was on somebody’s podcast and they said, yeah, I’m not gonna do anything after this podcast for the rest of the day. I’m gonna recharge. And, you know, it’s, it’s different for everybody. Everybody’s gonna need something a little bit different, but that’s how it’s different is a lot of it is the preparing and also the time we need a loan, the time we need to recharge.

Julianna:

Yeah. And I was going to ask you, but you kind of hit on it already is what, but one tip you would give to our introverted listeners, but I think it is trying to figure out what you need personally, like you said, and giving your time, self-time to recharge or think or whatever it is that you personally need.

David:

You know, figuring out your spaces where you need some time alone is probably the biggest thing.

Julianna:

Well, that’s so fantastic. I think that’s all the questions I had for you today. It was such fun chatting with you. Before we wrap up, where can people find you?

David:

The easiest place is quiet and strong.com and you know, there’s some blogs there. There’s my links for my podcast there and a lot of other things.

Julianna:

Okay, great. Well, I think, I will be sure to put those links into the show notes for everyone. And thanks again, David, for being guest on the podcast.

David:

Thanks, Juliana. This has been great.

Julianna:

Bye now.